how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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