i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Randomize
