someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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