My first STD was from a foam party
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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