the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
