Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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