Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize