Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize