I wish I could teleport
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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