no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
