I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
