The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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