Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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