Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
