whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
