I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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