Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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