Can i not drive my cunt home
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
