i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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