I didn't shave. On purpose
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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