Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
