I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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