Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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