What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
