aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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