well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
