When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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