Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize