What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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