oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
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