Rock
Scissors
Fuck
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We were destined to go to rehab together
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
