I accidentally had phone sex last night
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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