At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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