and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
