I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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