im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
