Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He felt like a one man threesome
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
