at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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