why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
should my penis look like a turkey
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
