Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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