I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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