Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
