yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Randomize
