On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
