Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
