It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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