I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize