There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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