my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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