i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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