I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
