you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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