**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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