Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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