I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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