are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
