Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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