Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
