And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just took my morning after pill in the library
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so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.