The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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