We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
