her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
