So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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