I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
