His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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