trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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